Passion

I Don’t Want My Kid To Have It Better Than Me

nobetterlife

As families go through generations, each one wants the next one to have it better than they did.

Families came over from different countries to America so their children could live the American Dream.

But where has that actually gotten us?

It has been instilled in us that you go to college and then graduate and get a job in a big corporation so we are taken care of. But that’s not how life is anymore.

They don’t take care of you, they use you until they realize that you cost too much money and then they get rid of you. You never get the responsibility you need to be fulfilling. Just when you think it is fulfilling, there will always be a wall you hit.

As each generation grows up, there is going to be a different way to live life. It’s up to that generation to figure out their life.

I don’t want my kids to have it better than me, I want them to make their own life. If it means having less than me, so be it. Maybe that’s the best thing for them.

The most important thing for me is that they are doing what makes them happy.

I’m not going to stuff it down their throat that I worked hard so that they could have a better life than me when I grew up. That’s not their decision, they aren’t making me do what I do to make life better for them.

I want them to know that life is what you make of it. It can be better or worse, depending on how you look at it.

I will help my kids with knowledge and I will always be there for them to cheer them on.

But I will not tell them how I had it worse than them or that I worked hard so that they could have it better than I did.

I feel like making their life easier/better could cause them to be lazy, like a lot of people are these days. Especially compared to our ancestors. So just imagine how we’ll be in 10 more generations. Wall-E will end up being prophetic.

We need to break that cycle and help our children to become self sufficient and teach them to use every resource available to them. If they want an answer they’ll need to find it, I won’t tell them but I will tell them how to use their resources.

I want my child end up with a life that’s happy, not with the life that I think is better than mine. I want them to make their life.

What do you think?

Comments (16)

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  • I Don’t Want My Kid To Have It Better Than Me…

    As families go through generations, each one wants the next one to have it better than they did. Families came over from different countries to America so their children could live the American Dream. But where has that actually gotten us?…

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  • “I want my child end up with a life that’s happy, not with the life that I think is better than mine. I want them to make their life.”

    I think that summarizes your whole article. I couldn’t have said it better.

    People focus too much on LEARNING their child: “learn from MY mistakes”. Instead people should guide their children to LEARN.

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    • Exactly, thanks for commenting

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  • Better doesn’t mean easier or richer. Better means more opportunity.

    I want my kids to have it better than me because I want them to have more guidance, help and opportunity than I did.

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  • I think you have more control over how your kids grow up than you realize. We have two adult (37 & 33 yrs.old) children who are more successful than us (measured by earnings). Their success comes from finding a career that they selected that makes them happy and successful. I am proud of their success. My wife and I spent a lot of time to instill our values in them and have a good relationship. Is it perfect? No, but close! Their success is theirs, they worked for it and accomplished it. We get together often and talk several times a week.

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  • I like it. The kid doesn’t need every luxuries in life, he’ll just get spoiled. I will still tell him how much harder life was when I was a kid though. Can’t beat indoor plumbing!

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    • Haha, that is true

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  • Interesting perspective; People always say that they want their kids to have it “better” than they did. It really depends on how you define “better”. People shouldn’t measure their success based on what their parents had because it’s all relative.

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    • That’s the point I was trying to get to. Better is relative and what’s better to me might not be what my child thinks is better.

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  • I grew up in a 600 sq ft apartment. There were 4 of us.
    We have just the one child, and 3400 sq ft. I almost forgot what it’s like to wait your turn to go to the bathroom. We have three full baths now.
    Of course I want my daughter to have a better life than I did. But I don’t rub it in her face. When we visit grandma, she sees that the bedroom I shared with my sister is just a bit smaller than her walk in closet.
    On the other hand, my daughter is charitable, she knows how important it is to my wife and me to share with those less fortunate. She knows the value of a dollar, even at 12 babysitting, and being able to understand how purchases can be converted to “hours worked.”

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  • Have linked back to this post Kevin. I thought I left a comment earlier. Cheers

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  • This is pretty much how my folks treated me and I appreciate it fully. I payed for my education and learned from a very early ago to go out get a job and pay for things myself. Perhaps this was out of necessity – we didn’t have a lot of money when I grew up, but even as my folks became more affluent as we got into our late teens we were well on our way to being non-reliant on our parents for hand outs.
    So if our kids end up doing better than we do, great. We will support their goals and dreams but you can be certain they won’t have a silver spoon in their mouths and they will work to earn money, they will learn about student debt, they will buy their own first car and home. Financial lessons that will help them throughout life whereas the silver spoon only handicaps them.

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  • I like your point of view. I actually am not planning to have children,so I can’t technically answer this question. If however, I’ll have children I don’t want them to live in luxury. My parents actually gave me everything I wanted as a child. It was difficult to transition to a hardworking person.

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  • Great article. All we can do is guide the kids and steer them in the right direction. If they choose to deviate from the ideal path thats up to them. I grew up in a household were I was told to do things a certain way and there was no other way. I don’t want to do with my kids. I can only tell them whats best for them without preaching to them.

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