5 ways money could help you survive a zombie outbreak

So, you’re walking around just hanging out, when all of a sudden someone starts slowly walking towards you. You think to yourself “Man, this person is really ugly.” You should be ashamed for being so superficial. All this person is look at is on your inside……BRAINS!!!

That’s right, there’s a zombie outbreak and all you have is a safe full of millions. What do you do? What do you do?

Here’s 5 ways money can help you survive a zombie outbreak:

Money Talks

What would you do for a million dollars? What would you do for a million dollars during a zombie outbreak? Money still talks when there’s zombies out there. Why? Because everyone wants to be positive and think that the zombie outbreak won’t be forever. What happens when it’s over? Well, you’ll need some money then. So just talk other people into that mindset and they will help you out with food and shelter. Of course put some safeguards in place so they don’t kill you and take the money.

Security force

Know how to shoot a gun? No? Well good thing you have money to hire your own combat ready forces. If you have a lot of money then you can have your own zombie killing force. How cool would that be? You wouldn’t have to worry about zombies attacking you when your swimming or eating. You can have them go scavenge for food and water for you.

Once again, you want to make sure you have some safeguards in place so they don’t mutiny. You have to be more careful with these guys because they are trained to kill.


Need some heat or light? Then you need a fire. But in order to start a fire you need some kindling. What better than a nice 1 dollar bill? Sure, it’s technically illegal but I’m sure rules can be broken during a zombie outbreak. Just saying.

Bottle Opener

Need a beer after a long, hot day of zombie killing but don’t have a bottle opener? Well, use a dollar bill and then have a drink. It’s pretty easy and it will be a cool trick to know how to do once the zombie outbreak is over.


OMG, you’re stuck in a room, what will you do to hold that door shut? Well of course use that stack of 1 million single dollars. That weighs over a ton, so it will surely hold a door shut. You might have a problem doing that, but you can always use your security force to help you.

So if you’re stuck in the middle of a zombie outbreak without millions of dollars then I feel sorry for you. Perhaps you should have been saving instead of spending it all. Oh well, there’s always robbing a bank. Just make sure there’s an actual zombie out break and not a bunch of actors pretending to be zombies. That would be pretty awkward.

How would you use money to survive?

Comments (4)

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  • Man, I need to stockpile some money fast…just in case of the Zombie outbreak. Of course if I have enough money on hand, I can pay someone to keep watch for me. I love the beer opener video! And, if I am not being overly tacky, here is some great Zombie artwork (by my son) http://www.etsy.com/shop/PlemonStudios
    Whoever thought that George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Ben Franklin could be zombies?

  • Wow…. I’m gonna practice opening with the one dolla and bet all my friends millions I can do it! Thanks for the idea!


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